Who wants to be happy? Who thinks that a beautiful house, or a fulfilling job, or a wonderful family, or a huge bank account would make us happier?
I guess you would all agree that anything we do, we do to become happy… or to make somebody happy. Today I belief We don’t need to do anything or to achieve anything in order to be happy. We can gain happiness directly. We become like a Sisyphus rolling a huge stone up the hill, only to watch it roll down again.
My mother used to say: if you do not have what you like you’d better like what you have. I must admit that I hated this statement. But recently I discovered that she was right. The key to happiness is the consent to Reality. Everything is perfect right now, as it is. Why this Reality is perfect? Because it exists. If I quarrel with the Reality I quarrel with God. I suffer.
You may say: Easier said that done. Not necessarily. Some people has called it radical shadow integration. Byron Katie has called it “the work“. I like the phrase “radical serenity”. It’s much more than happiness.
The key element is a Turnaround or a reverse. It does miracles.
First find out what is the troublesome thought. Ie.: He doesn’t respect me!
Now find how the opposite statement is true or even truer than the original.
Than find out the examples from your life, how could it be true.
It requires a little bit of creativity, humility and openness.
For example:
A friend of mine didn’t want to take my opinion into consideration. I really started to blame him: he is disrespectful. I was sitting for two hours wondering, how could I change his mind with no avail. Finally I recalled the turnaround.
My statement sounded: He should respect me! He doesn’t respect me.
The turnaround was obvious: I should respect him. I don’t respect him. I agreed with it 100%. Obviously I didn’t respect him when I was blaming him.
The result was that I immediately got relief and I could connect with him again. The conflict disappeared.
Since that time I started to belief that we can battle all the fears and frustrations with consent. This reminds me a taoistic story about a farmer.
The farmer had only one horse, and one day the horse ran away. The neighbors came to condole: Oh! It is so terrible. The farmer said, “What makes you think, it is so terrible?”
A month later, the horse came home–this time bringing with him a band of wild horses. The neighbors became elated: Oh! You have such a good fortune. The farmer said, “What makes you think, this is good fortune?”
The farmer’s son was thrown from one of the wild horses and broke his leg. All the neighbors were very distressed. Oh! Such a bad luck! The farmer said, “What makes you, think it is bad?”
A war came, and all man were drafted except the farmer’s son, because of his broken leg. The neighbors: Oh! You are so fortunate. “What makes you think this is good?” said the farmer.
Whenever you think something should not happen, turn it around. It should happen. Find the wisdom in Reality. What is positive about it?
With this optimistic view I wish you satisfaction and serenity whether there is a crisis or there is a Valentine. If you don’t have what you like, than like what you have. I finally understood my mother’s wisdom. Just turn it around. That is my shortcut to happiness.
